Evanescence…
The word "evanescence" means to gradually fade away… The band Evanescence ironically produces many popular songs unlike one-hit wonders that deserve the name…But anyway, let us not forget the word "gradually".
The word evanescence is so sad and mysterious. If sudden losses cause shock, a loss so evanescent is more bitter-tasting because if we observed the signs, we could have prevented it. The word also fits my interests. I would pour my whole heart into each of my scattered "loves" and then after the passing of months or years, the attachment is gone without me discerning where the crack started. When I say loves, I meant my love for art, for math, for poetry and music and films and so many other things that I cannot give time for all. Though confusion has always wrought the way I see myself: the extrovert with compassion for people or the introvert who stay in one corner pondering about philosophy and fantasy. The artist pretending to be a mathematician? Or the scientist pretending to be a poet? What I can be sure of is my love for learning. I just hope that one day I would not look back at this love as evanescent…
