Unloading.Analyzing.Speaking to Myself?

I can write around the title "Women’s Month" without really talking about March as women’s month.  It can mean the monthly visits that most fertile women have that can mean so much and can decide the birth of a new soul. 

But I am talking about March.

And I am talking about this month being a special month that honors women.

It just that I may be hung up on babies and the fact that I am still in a happy albeit childless marriage.

But let’s not talk about me.

I am just one woman, and a slightly boyish one at that.  My friends and family can certainly attest to that.

Women have fought so hard to be considered "equal", and by humanity man and woman are equal.  Why are we all "equal" in terms of race and gender but we tag ourselves as "Caucasian man", "Fil-am lady", "Arabian teenager", etc?  Equal, but distinct… and women are distinct from men, though equal.   

The same group of women who protest for the recognition of women as equal may be the same group who demand full rights to their body…Abortion is simply their prerogative.  They say.  How about equality? The baby has equal rights to life, does it not?  Women may demand to be considered equal in everything possible under the sun but still expect men to stand up in buses or trains to let them sit.  Don’t men have equal rights to the seat?

What does this mean?

that we should recognize equality, but not get carried away and foam at the mouth everytime that we discuss gender rights… In fact, nowadays we have to consider GLBT (gay-lesbian-bisexual-transexual) rights as well… in all these gender rights, don’t forget that of course the men have rights as well… We have gotten so caught up in trying to be treated equal that we are not treating other people fairly. 

that though we are equal, we are distinct

that respect of women by men and vice-versa should never be outdated

Someone told me to give only fifty percent of my love in a relationship…and I thought it strange coming from someone who seemed to revel in falling in love, dreaming of true love and first love(or first loves whatever the case may be).  My inner response was that giving fifty percent seemed a reasonable proposal, but fifty percent in love?  That is not love at all.   Love is about giving, without asking in return…love is more than petty jealousies and romantic dinners. Even romantic love is not that far off from that described in Corinthians 13. Meanwhile, a relationship does not directly mean love.  These days, many marry for convenience; sadly, many Filipinas have become mail order brides because of their hopes of a better future.  Some are arranged; parents sometimes want someone wealthy, or goodlooking, or a son/daughter of a friend.  Some are untimely: the girl is already pregnant.  As for marriage itself…it has been an escape route of very young girls, but supposedly career oriented young men and women shun it because they want to earn more money, and enjoy their own salaries for awhile(Those who have his parents and siblings to support are different;they are heroes to me)… I have no problems with this, as long as they are sincere about it, know what they are doing, really love their career, have not met "the one"…some men (even some women!) are not interested in marriage because they get their physical desires satisfied even without it—so why settle?  This may all seem jaded but I shock people when I say I am married, and not yet pregnant(sometimes I do wish I were pregnant when I got married LOL because I love kids!)…Even my co-worker who is a young man of twenty one was asked if he has plans of getting married..his answer was: "Hindi pa naman buntis ang girlfriend ko!" How romantic.Indeed.  He could have said something like: "Bata pa ako at marami pang ibang dapat gawin". I can understand that.  I wonder what his girlfriend will say if she finds out about what he said?

Girls will be girls.  Don’t we all wish proposals knowing that the guy really loves us and not just wants to fulfill an obligation?

Anyway, it is February once again…the month of love (or rather, the month that emphasizes romantic love).  If your guy takes you out on a romantic dinner or even a movie or even bulastog sa tabi ng daan(hey even a poor man can love!) — go for it, it’s the thought that counts.  But if he thinks that the day is for taking you to a motel, think twice…Ask for some respect…and true love.

Love you all!=)

Corruption has a breeding ground in youthful and seemingly innocent undertakings.  If you observe your world history, many countries who have been under the Spanish empire suffer from high crime rate and corruption (like our country, Dominican Republic, some South American countries, Cuba)… However, our country has an additional "something", which is not a good "something".  The country seems to self-destruct: removing Spanish from our repertoire of languages then struggling to learn it today because it may lead to possible jobs; forgetting Alibata and therefore, throwing away a huge piece of our culture; mimicking foreign lifestyles, behavior and dance; being contented with being second class citizens of this world (nurses instead of doctors because Americans only hire their own doctors; call center agents who adjust to other countries’ time zones while telemarketers in the US who do the same job do it as a day job while hardworking Filipinos get salaries less than 50% as Americans…much less although we may think the pay is high)

Our Education is also very poor.  When small children do not have active thinking lifestyles, some part of the brain is disconnected, literally.  For example, if the child does not practice his or her language skills, he will have extreme difficulty in learning more complicated language skills later on in life… Check it out yourself in My Brilliant Brain from http://www.ngasia.com/brain

Now, let us go back to corruption which is one of the sad causes of poor education.  But before we cast the first stone, let us look at ourselves

You cannot judge other people’s corruption, when:

you are a student leader, and you:

—invite your friends to activities you know they cannot really help, and the org pays for all their snacks

—you demand a lot of miscellaneous allowance stuff

—you make your assignment an excursion, even though you charged the org for your vehicle’s gas

—you dont liquidate your funds properly

—pocket some of the money for personal stuff

***This is so funny because I used to be a student leader (the Prez in fact) and we were constantly criticized by another org who have some members who practically charge all their snacks on the org.Sheesh. What they didnt know and believe is that we spent personal money in order to get the effect we wanted in events.  Also, when most orgs (even past student councils), went on planning in beaches and other places, we went planning in the school gym despite the plentiful mosquitoes hehe and of course, the over-all unglamorous atmosphere)

you are an employee, and you

—dont liquidate your committee funds properly

—spend your committee budget paying for personal stuff

—you bring home some office stuff without asking for permission, and claim them as your own later on…that is damn right stealing

—stealing time and possibility of business by hogging the phone for personal stuff..still stealing

—when you are a teacher, and you spend class hours doing business, doing your manicure and just plain not teaching sense

OUR COUNTRY COMPLAINS ABOUT CORRUPTION, BUT DO NOT NOTICE OTHER "LESSER" CORRUPTIONS…like the recent tv ratings problem…gosh…we are so bloody competitive (that we cheat) but not at the right moment (why not be competitive when we start looking down on ourselves as lower than other people? why don’t we have less mestizos and chinitos in showbusiness? Hooray for commercials that support the Filipino look and values)

Until next time…

…bakit ang raming tanga? yun pa mga maiingay… di muna nag-iisip…walang kalogic-logic…subjective.

There should be a required minimum IQ not required age that will allow people to:

-vote

-answer surveys

-have an influential job

People should do research before

-they talk

-they have a violent reaction

-do something drastic

To become a successful country, Filipinos must not practice:

-crab mentality and envy

-sensationalism

-immoral ruthlessness

-greed and corruption

-stupidity

-biases and subjectivity

-dishonesty

What Filipinos must have:

-unity

-logic

-objectivity

-honesty

-pride

-REAL patriotism

-gratefulness

Call me ignorant about news and affairs, but watching the news on tv right now dismays me.  What I am referring to is Trillanes and Lim’s taking over of Manila Peninsula Hotel.  I do want to know what’s going on but shouldn’t the media just freaking leave? If they are pro-Trillanes, they are definitely doing what they set out to do.  Because *duh* they are showing clips of the SWAT team’s whereabouts, and the hotel rooms do have television.  Oh crap.  They should just walk on straight without all the stealth moves.  As for the PNP, why don’t they reprimand the media? Because the media will start saying that their rights are being trampled on…Notice that the SWAT team is hiding, but the media men are in full view.  If one of them does get hit if worse comes to worse there is a shooting, he or she will be hailed as a hero, not as an idiot.  As for Trillanes, he better get ready to pay Manila Peninsula for the hotel’s loss today.  It really is bad for business, and I don’t think he is out to get Manila Peninsula.  He wants GMA out, but he does it by escaping.

Artists, even most modern people, are very visual.  Books are turned down for the movies.  The advanced special effects and beautiful cinematography replace the inner designer, director and screenplay writer.  Toni Morrison’s short story, "Recitatif" reminds me about our dependency on images.  "Recitatif" is a story about racial differences, but without explicitly saying which of the two main characters is white and which one is black.  It is up to the reader to guess which of Roberta and Twyla is which.  The reader finds out more about himself or herself in doing so.  Is he or she prejudiced, and dependent on racial stereotyping?

Now, what if you don’t know me? Then, I refuse to describe myself to you.  I write things… Probably mean things. How will you judge me? What if I joke about something, but I do it in let us say, my "usual" deadpan way and you can’t read it that way, because I am anonymous? I already have had a bad experience posting something via Friendster bulletin…about hating guys, which I don’t. I didnt even have a boyfriend yet at that time…nobody to blame for manhating ways. I just posted something for people to peruse and judge for themselves. I was not personally involved. and yet…people reacted. Guys messaged me angrily, without asking first…without knowing who I am…that I like posting things for people to think about…I am not your usual "parinig" person. I’d do it directly if I am on some kind of crusade. It will not be through a forward. It will be through a message written by me.

The narrator refuses to describe self.  The narrator is tired. Tired of a world wherein photos are attached on resumes, cute kids are less scolded, pretty ones get jobs they don’t have a talent for… Morrison lets us judge Roberta and Twyla as the persons they are, not for little black girl so-and-so with her white friend miss thing. 

But you know me. And how you know me will color your interpretation of what I just wrote.

As Filipinos, we have many complaints
about racism directed towards us but
we should also watch our own behavior.
Everytime we judge people based on how
white or how dark their skin is, mock
foreign accents, call all
whites "Kano", call black
people "niggers" or belittle other
people’s race or our own, we also
commit racism

I am taking a Masters in Mathematics(36 units; supposedly 42 units but I passed the English entrance exam so I do not have to take two Advanced Technical writing courses), but since my bachelor’s degree is not Math, I had to take a non-thesis course.  This means I have to take classes with undergrads… especially since there are so few people taking further studies in Mathematics. If I do plan to go for a Phd, however I think I have a to write a thesis and take a regular Phd degree(42 units) OR take a straight program(69 units).

This term(Sept-Dec 07), I am taking 9 units, or 3 subjects. I have Calculus 1 with freshmen Math majors, Discrete Mathematics with freshmen, repeaters and graduate students (math majors) under the College of Science, and Statistics with graduate students who major in Math, Chemistry or Biology.  The Stats is starting to be more like Biostatistics because I have Biology major classmates.  My classmates range from 16 or 17 year old freshies to graduate students who are high school or undergrad teachers.

At 26, I am still looking for myself.  I’ve crossed the bridge from the arts to the sciences by taking a Masters in Mathematics.  Of course, Digital Illustration and Animation is already an attractive blend of left brain and right brain thinking.  However, I want to know what it is like to explore in detail one of my other interests. As if to vindicate my choice, I took an online ability test and scored highest in numerical ability.  I have lived my life with the knowledge that I have a higher verbal ability.  I always strive to write and express myself.  I know how to read French and Spanish; I also speak a little of both. I am probably criticized by some for apparently leaving my blue-blooded Atenean brothers and sisters by enrolling into De La Salle University for my Masters.  I do not see anything wrong with it.  It is primarily because I live in the City of Manila, not in Quezon City.

I will always owe my animation and leadership skills to Ateneo, along with the best years of my life.  I also met my husband in Ateneo where we both represented Ateneo de Naga in the Ayala Young Leaders Congress (we both made it nationally) and the Ten Outstanding Students of the Philippines (he made it to the national top 30, I made it to Regional finals).  If I get a career in banking or the academe and it is related to Math, I will owe LaSalle.  I also appreciate the experience of going to classes with undergraduates who are eight years younger, and with graduate student/teachers who are years older.

I hope that this is it.  At the moment, I am concentrating in my studies but once I get used to it, I will most likely look for a full time job.(hoping to graduate next year)